Relationships Which Honor God

The Foundation

From the beginning of time, God has desired to have a relationship with His children.
Deut. 6:5 “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.”
All proper and pure relationships have their foundation in a right relationship with Jesus Christ.
I John 4:7-8 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” I John 4:19 “We love, because He first loved us.”
1. Our first priority in life should be to establish a relationship with Jesus. Without this relationship, no relationship can become all that God intends it to become.
2. Without the love of God in us, we have no ability to love anyone, nor do others have the ability to love us.
Every relationship we build must be built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ, not on the sinking sand of the world’s value system.

Psalm 127:1 “Unless the Lord build the house they labor in vain who build it.”

Matthew 7:24-25 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine, and acts upon them, may be compared to a wise man, who build his house upon the rock. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and burst against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded upon the rock
Spend your time in God’s word learning what He has to say.
1. The Holy Spirit was sent so that He could reveal the truth of God’s Word to us. Ask Him.
  
  John 14:26 “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.”
2. Once you know the truth, it is much harder for you to be carried away by trickery or deceit.
  1. U.S. Treasury Department employees study real currency so that they recognize counterfeit when they see it.
  2. Likewise, if you “know” God’s Word, you’ll recognize when something or someone doesn’t line up.

The Purpose

Note: definition of purpose – intention; design, purpose always includes the end in view

What is God’s purpose in happy and holy relationships?
1. We have already established that without God, it is impossible to have God’s kind of love. Therefore, the world, without God, could only have the counterfeit of a holy relationship.
2. Holy relationships, those designed by God for believers, should draw unbelievers to Christ.
3. Our relationships with our families, friends and spouses should speak so loudly of the grace and goodness of God that the world will want to know what we know, that they don’t know. They’ll want to know what makes our relationships different.

Keys to Godly Relationships or Work on Yourself First

Trust God.
1. Our first priority in life should be to establish a relationship with Jesus. Without this relationship, no relationship can become all that God intends it to become.
2. Without the love of God in us, we have no ability to love anyone, nor do others have the ability to love us.
  
  I John 4:7-8 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” I John 4:19 “We love, because He first loved us.”
  
  Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Walk in Integrity

Note: definition of Integrity: the quality or state of being of sound moral principle, upright, honesty.

God desires for our conduct to be above reproach.

Ephesians 4:1 “…walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called,”

Philippians 1:27 “only conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.
Let your lifestyle be a witness
In the past, dishonesty was the exception, not the rule. People were, for the most part, honorable in the business practices. As a matter of fact, a handshake and a person’s word were often all that was necessary to seal a deal. Now days, however, most businesses need lawyers on retainer who will look out for their best interest. As Christians, when we are a person of our word, when we give back the money that was given to us by mistake, when we right the wrongs we know of, we are drawing people to Christ. We are demonstrating holy relationships.

Establish a Mindset of Purity
1. Purity is not just related to our physical being. Our thoughts and motives can also defile us.
  
  Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”
2. Set Boundaries. Know in advance what your limits are, what your standards are, so you’ll better avoid the pitfalls that will come your way.
  
  Daniel 1:8 “Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself…”
3. Rules are not enough.
  Rules like: #1- No Sex Before Marriage
  #2- Date Only Those People Who Share My Belief and Values
  1. Without conviction (strong belief) or connection (relationship) rules are only rules.
  2. After all, aren’t rules meant to be broken? Aren’t we taught that there are exceptions to rules?
  3. Think of your reaction to posted speed limits. Do you obey the speed limit signs, or do you justify going 5 to 10 miles over the limit because you think that police don’t ticket until after the 10 mile over limit.
  4. “No matter how many rules we make for ourselves, rules don’t create a Godly relationship.” (When God Writes Your Love Story, by Eric and Leslie Ludy)
    - Without purpose, without a true conviction to a lifestyle of purity, you will find yourself stretching the rules to the furthest limits, but still remain within the “letter” of the rule.
    - You’ll find yourself saying things like “How far can I go and still be considered a virgin?” “How far is too far?”
    - In truth, you should ask yourself “How far can I possibly go to bring joy to the heart of my heavenly Father in this area of my life?” (When God Writes Your Love Story, by Eric and Leslie Ludy)
    - Purpose in your heart now, to maintain only godly relationships that will bring honor to the King of Kings.
Know Yourself
1. God has established specific plans and a purpose for you. These plans were established before the foundation of the world began.
  
  Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”
2. God’s plan and purpose for you will not change because of a relationship.
  1. You do not have to change who you are in order to make a “catch”.
  2. When you start to redefine who you are in order to “fit” into a relationship, you are then walking on thin ice, and you will get wet!
  3. God will never require you to change who you are in order to become Mrs. Prince Charming.
  4. God will require you to change some areas in your life in order to become more like Him, but you should never feel pressure (either real or imagined) to change for the purpose of meeting someone’s approval.
  5. Temporary changes never last!

“How To” or “In Pursuit of Marriage”

“God only requires you to walk the path He has for you” – Gwen Brown

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Ruth in the Bible is a wonderful example of someone who walked the path God had for her, and God honored her by orchestrating a divine appointment with Boaz, the man who became her husband.

I believe God will do the same for everyone IF we will leave the decision of who we are to marry in God’s capable hands.
Don’t become impatient and settle for less than God desires for you
Matthew 6:25, 33 “For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing?...But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.
Be “real” in your relationships
1. Unless your dating relationships are different than the ones I remember in which I tried to wear the perfect clothes, perfect makeup, maintain the perfect behavior and respond with perfect reactions to all of my dates jokes, etc, then you need to be real!
2. In dating we tend to become chameleons, changing colors depending on our surroundings. We try to “be” or “become” whatever it is we think is expected of us with the purpose of gaining favor in the person’s eyes.
3. If we are not careful, we can pursue a relationship with such determination (purpose) that we forget our divine purpose.
4. If we aren’t careful, a dating or even courtship relationship can turn into the “Art of Practicing Fraud”.

Note: In all relationships, we need to maintain a pure heart.

Go with God

2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

God specifically states that He does not want us yoked in marriage with an unbeliever.
If you find yourself attracted to an unbeliever, you’d better do an “about face” and put as much space between the two of you as is possible.
Your mind will play tricks on you and you’ll find yourself talking yourself into justifying the relationship. i.e. He’s just a friend, I’m trying to win him to the Lord, etc.
Think of God’s order in marriage. The wife is to submit to her husband. If you marry an unbeliever or a very young Christian, will you be able to allow your husband to truly be the head of the house as God requires or will you try to take the control?
You have to purpose in your heart to not defile yourself and not to compromise God’s standards in marriage.

Will the Real Prince Charming Please Stand Up

What clues will help you know that you are heading the right direction?
1. He will be a Christian in the truest sense, not in name only. There will be visible fruit.
  Matthew 7:17-20 “Even so, every good tree bears good fruit; but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.”
2. The relationship will draw you closer to God, not farther away.
3. You will share a similar life vision, i.e there should be a compatibility of your life’s calling.
4. Background complement and compatibility.
5. He should show strength of character
6. Ask others how they view this person. What do other people see as his strengths and weaknesses.
  Note: Just because you meet a man in church does not automatically qualify him as marriage material!
  
  If you have an interest in someone, ask his Pastor about him.
7. Ask God to have this man’s heart revealed to you.

C. Renee Smith

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