Principles to Courtship
Courtship is not entered into until one is ready to marry. (For the man, that means assuming the role of the young woman’s father to care for, provide, and protect.)Chaperone courtship then follows. (Here someone responsible to chaperone is necessary, not just an adult or a third party, but an authority figure who is assuming the father’s role of guardian.)
Group activities are encouraged. (Again, responsible chaperone’s are necessary.)
Family courtship also comes into play. (Here the young man is spending time at the house - usually the home of the young woman - and interacts with the entire family. If the parents of the young woman are not taking steps towards courtship, but the young man’s parents are, this can take place at the home of the young man.)
(The young man and the young woman are never left alone, where there can be the establishing of great emotional bonds. These emotional bonds are to begin to develop later during the "betrothal", once vows are made and commitment is established. This may sound "old-fashioned" or "legalistic", but it will keep your children from having broken hearts or worse. In Biblical times, no touching occurred. Today, we say the "holding of hands" for a limited time or a "kiss on the cheek" may be appropriate. No "kissing on the lips", "petting", or "French kissing", as our lips are to remain "pure".)
Parental discipleship must also take place. (The father should disciple the young man, and the mother should disciple the young woman. The discipline should be in the Word of God, preparing the young couple for marriage.)
From courtship (suggest a minimum of one year), then a "betrothal" may be entered into. (The betrothal should have a ceremony with vows of purity and love exchanged. Now, stronger emotional bonds begin to develop, but still a limited time alone together, and no touching affectionately. Time here should be no shorter than six months and no longer than twelve months with final preparations being made for marriage. The young couple are to remain sexually pure and undefiled in deed and thought while anticipating God’s blessing of beautiful union and intimacy in their marriage.)
Michael R. Smith